When I was a kid, maybe around 6 or 7 years old, I remember standing under a plum tree near my apartment building at the time. My hands touched the tree and I was thinking…
Why do I see things the way I see?
Why am I me?
It’s one of my earliest memories that I am sure wasn’t a dream. And yet, in my memory, I can see myself not only as I remember it—in first person’s view—but also as if I were a bird, flying above and looking at myself from the sky.
I try to see myself as another person would, but I always feel like I am being pushed back to look at myself like a bird does.
I never thought of why my memory is like this. I guess it doesn’t matter.
. . .
Later in life, around the beginning of my teen years, I remember being asked what I would want to achieve in life.
Or was it… what would I want to do when I grew up? It’s usually the latter question that children get asked.
It wasn’t things like becoming a police officer like my father anymore. As a small child, I never put thought into what I truly wished to become or do when I grew up.
As a teen, I had no profession or title in mind. I just remember thinking…
I want to be free. Free to do whatever I want and be happy.
So simple and pure. A straightforward guide. The foundation. The core that can help build the life I truly want.
But somewhere along the way…
I fell asleep.
. . .
In my twenties, I discovered truths that had changed my life forever.
I moved continents away from home and discovered new amazing things, including spirituality, and started making my way to…
Myself.
Yet, at 30 I found myself missing something. Even if my mind couldn’t grasp it at first.
You got what you wanted. You moved where you wanted to. You have a nicer place to live in and your career is progressing great.
Why are you not happy?
What is missing in your life?
For the first time in five years, I began to miss home.
Sounds simple, but it wasn’t.
Sure, I missed the beautiful plains, hills, woods and lakes, and the beautiful sandy beaches, but…
I soon began to realize that my soul was hungry.
Once more, I opened my eyes.
I was awake.
I could hear again what my heart was whispering. And learned why my soul was screaming. I just couldn’t hear any of it clearly.
And then I traveled back into my memories.
Why am I me?
And why am I here?
What is my purpose?
I lie awake now. Eyes wide open. Fixed on the target.
I shall continue my journey with a certain heart.
My spirit shall guide me.
Always improving and becoming better?
Yes, but that’s because…
I’m revealing my true self.
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