Mooseventures Of A Moosey Moose: Tales From The Throne

Imagine sitting on the throne.

Yes, I mean the toilet, in case you need a clarification.

Browsing through Moosetagram, enjoying some lit memes and shit.

Literally and figuratively.

Some time passes and you need to rise once more, emerge into the world.

Ok, just go back to laze around on your sofa, or whatever. It’s Friday!

You need to replace the toilet paper roll.

It didn’t come to you as a surprise as you knew it needed replacing beforehoof.

You prepared a fresh and fine toilet paper roll and put it close to you, so you could easily reach it when you needed to.

And the time came to reach for the stars!

Well, the toilet paper roll. It’s a great thing to reach for anymoose!

So you turned and soon the toilet paper roll was in your hooves.

*SNAP!!!*

What the fur???

You knew exactly what had just occurred.

Yes.

The damn toilet seat broke!!!

No, not the whole toilet, just to be clear (fortunately!). But the damn plastic seat just snapped!

Ron Burgundy WTF Meme

Mooseventures Of A Moosey Moose: Battle Royale With A Bug, Crumb Catapult And “Palmolive Wanted To Live”

What’s an ordinary weekday evening without a little mooseventure?

The Moose came home with no incidents, with some tasty nomz in his hooves. He took off his shoes, bag and was in the process of taking his top off when something unmoosepected happened…

Suddenly, something flew off of his shoulder and buzzed away into the living room.

What the Holy Fur?

So there it was… some strange big bug in his living room.

How did it get on his clothes? Or worse… was it UNDER his clothes? And it came home with the Moose???

The flying bug could not be identified, but it looked a lot like a huge fly.

Surely, the bug had to be disposed of. But once the Moose was ready to proceed with his mission, the bug disappeared.

Fortunately, the bug made its presence known soon enough and the Moose managed to secure his target in… a Pringles box.

The Moose contemplated whether he should just leave the bug inside the chips box (no, not crisps, we’re not in the UK here) and let it die or just kill it…

Finally, he just let the bug go outside. It may have been a vicious spy out to get the Moose, but oh well… it deserved to live.

But the mooseventures did not end there!

The Moose decided to take on a moist vanilla cake after his dinner while watching none other but the documentary about the life of a 600-pound woman on YouTube.

Exactly what you should be watching when you eat!

It wasn’t a big cake, and when it was close to being eaten, the tin decided to tip over and send a bunch of crumbs flying on the Moose’s phone and the floor.

Now if only he could take a picture of his phone with… his phone? Ok…

Surprisingly, it was easy enough to clean the mess up.

Probably got some crumbs left hiding away that will turn up during cleaning anymoose…

Finally, several documentaries later, the Moose decided it was time to shower. It was almoose time for bed too!

The shower isn’t normally much of a mooseventure worthy of telling tales about, but that naughty Palmolive soap wasn’t having it!

It attempted to escape twice!

There was only room for one pardon this moosevening. Sorry, soap!

And yep… this is all a real story. Just ask the bug!

Mooseventures Of A Moosey Moose: Water Apocalypse Part 3

Day 2 Of The Water Apocalypse

Another day has dawned. Surely there might be some issues with water now. A lot of people must be using it in the building. Except there weren’t any issues. The water was running just fine. That’s a good thing, right?

At work, the Moose also moosepected some issues. There are plenty of people in that building. But, just like at home, the water supply was still normal.

Moosehaps today things will still be okay and the issues will come later. Maybe those water tanks are just damn huge. The Moose was still prepared with all the buckets and pots. After all, they said this would last 3 days.

The day was just like any other day. Work and stuff. Somewhere near the end of office hours an announcement popped up.

It was over.

The Water Apocalypse has ended. And it wasn’t anything the Moose had moosepected. In fact, there was no water apocalypse at all. Not for the Moose at least.

It rained that evening.

The Moose saw the rain drops hit the ground and glitter in the city lights. And what do you know?

The cars have stopped at the intersection, making it easy for the Moose to cross the road.

What sorcery is this?

Oh! The traffic light was finally working again.

THE END

Go back to Part 2
Or Part, 1 if you fancy

Mooseventures Of A Moosey Moose: Water Apocalypse Part 2

Day 1 Of The Water Apocalypse

Several snooze button slaps later, the Moose managed to roll out of bed and get ready for work. The water was still running as usual, just as moosepected.

The Moose was soon on his way to work. The day started fine and most of it went well, except for the increased heat throughout the building for water saving purposes (turning down the AC). And lunch time.

There were no plates provided at the food basement, which the Moose loves to frequent for the tasty nomz they sell down there.

No shady business, just nomz! Really tasty nomz.

Instead, everyone was given food containers that are meant for one-time use and can be just thrown away.

When evening came, the Moose was looking forward to getting some tasty nomz for dinner. He wasn’t planning to cook and bother with dishes in these dire times!

His trip home, however, was filled with strange events. The train was stopping longer and moving much slower than usual. And the last station was way closer than normal.

Nobody explained why or what was going on, but that wasn’t a big problem for the Moose as he was getting off just a couple of stations away.

Once off, he passed by a bathroom that was taped shut with red tape and signs of no entry.

The Moose wondered what the hell happened there, but concluded that moosehaps shit went down (or not) due to the water disruption.

And while the announcements of train delays were ringing through the speakers, it was sending a pre-apocalyptic vibe indeed.

That’s how most zombie movies start anymoose.

The dinner went by without any strange incidents. It was delicious and plenty! In actual plates too!

Afterwards, the Moose wandered around the mall for a bit and, of course, bought something he absolutely did not need. It was very nice though, so that’s that.

It was time to head home and get on another train again. Everything seemed normal with this one, until it arrived and stopped suddenly. The door stayed shut.

Soon it moved again. With the other passengers still inside and leaving the Moose and the rest of the public standing there like WTF?

Guess those people didn’t need to go wherever they were going anymoose.

Another completely empty train arrived, and to everyone’s disappointment, it went by without stopping. Another 5-minute wait right there!

Finally, the Moose was on the next train home. But he was not taking any chances and was ready to grab onto something any second!

The last thing he wanted was to be flying across the train with his hooves in the air. Anything was possible at this point!

Fortunately, all went well and the Moose safely reached his destination. And the best part? The water was still running normally at home!

Bless those mooseterious water tanks somewhere in the building that allow for such miracles to happen.

But screw whoever lives above the Moose! Stomping like some giant fat skunk all the time.

Anymoose… The Mooseventures continue.

As the 2nd day of The Water Apocalypse approached… the Moose was ready. With all the pots and buckets filled up.

Cheers!

Continue to Part 3
Or go back to Part 1

Mooseventures Of A Moosey Moose: Water Apocalypse Part 1

Water Apocalypse Eve

It was less than two days since a troubling announcement reached the Moose’s eyes. So once work was over, he rushed home to prepare for what he would learn to know as… The Water Apocalypse.

On the way home, the Moose was almoose sent flying when the train stopped abruptly. An apology echoed through the speakers, but nothing else was explained. The train started moving again shortly after and the Moose eventually reached his apartment without any further incidents. Of course, he stopped by the supermarket to grab some tasty nomz and drinking water before that.

After a filling dinner and a delicious donut for dessert, the Moose fired up a movie on Mooseflix and began to wash the dishes. He’ll need all the empty pots so he can fill it up with water. He’ll need lots of water! But not before he dramatically superzoomed the giant popcorn bag on his kitchen bar counter and posted it on his Moosetagram stories.

Like 10 buckets, pots, jars, etc. later, the Moose was ready to face the treacherous events of the days to come. He went to sleep late that night, but nevertheless, without a worry in his moosey mind.

Sweet Mooseymares, Mr. Moose!

Continue to Part 2

Mooseventures Of A Moosey Moose: The Moosetery Of Falling Balls SOLVED

Remember that ball that was never found? Bet you don’t because that was like last year or whatever. Ok, this year, but still.

The Moose tried to find it using the flashlight on his phone several times before he gave up.

Something told him that the missing ball would turn up eventually. And what do you know?

Nearly two weeks later after losing it, he noticed something shiny in a rather obvious and open space. It was the ball!

Right there. Unobstructed. And, of course, in a place where the Moose didn’t moosepect for it to have fallen.

But yeah… there we have it! The moosetery of the missing ball is now solved!

Though he still has to pick it up… It’s been… days!

WTF, Moose?

Okay… he’s doing it! *drum roll*

He’s picking it up! *dramatic moosic*

HE DID IT! *applause*

Mooseventures Of A Moosey Moose: Attack On Titan

Okay… it wasn’t really an attack. And no titans were harmed in the process of writing about the events that have unfolded this one evening.

One seemingly regular evening…

The Moose was on his way home from work. Walking down the same path he always did since he’s moved to this area.

As he approached the entrance gate to his apartment building, he saw a woman walk up to the gate.

Nothing unusual here. Just another resident coming home.

The Moose watched the woman tap her access card to the card thingy and… push the gate.

But what’s happening? It’s not opening!

With a confused look, thinking that maybe the card didn’t work, she tapped again and pushed!

What the… it’s not opening?

The Moose saw it all as he approached the gate. The woman was struggling to get the gate open.

Why wasn’t it working???

She seemed ready to take it down if she had to, adding more force to each push.

The Moose reached the gate as the woman was about to attempt to push the gate open for the third time.

Gently, he put his hoof on the gate not to spook the woman as he approached the gate from the left side.

He then pulled the gate open and said softly, “Pull.”

As the gate finally opened, the woman rushed through quickly without a word.

True story.

The Moose saved the day!

Okay, really… it was just funny to watch it all.

The Moose did it with a poker face.

Cheers!

Mooseventures Of A Moosey Moose: The Moosetery Of Falling Balls

The Moose was laying on the sofa on a Saturday, or was it Sunday, moosernoon… Or wait… moosehaps it was moosevening already.

The Moose wears earrings, those types with screw-on balls, and he never has them randomly fall… well… didn’t. Until now.

While watching a random YouTube video or whatever, one of the balls suddenly popped off and flew on the TV table. Convenient.

The Moose picked it up with his hooves, attempting to screw it back on. And then it tumbled down into the abyss of the tiled floor. Fantastic!

Where did it go? Under the sofa? Under the TV table? He looked for it with no avail and gave up for the time being.

Days later, the Moose was at work when another ball just fell off. Once more, it conveniently fell onto his hooves.

This time he managed to screw it back on with success.

The first ball, however, remains to be found and its moosetery is still unsolved.

As is the reason behind the falling balls.