What is it that you truly desire?
Deep in your soul.
Beyond the touch.
Warmth on your skin.
What is your essence?
Vibrating through your core.
Flowing through your veins.
Pumping inside your heart.
What is your deepest darkest secret?
You locked away, hid and tried to drown.
Afraid to ever let it roam free.
Losing grasp of your true power.
What happens when you finally let it all go?
The pain, the fear, the shame.
Accept and embrace the one inside you.
Rise, ever so powerful and free.
What is it that you truly desire?
My season is coming.
Time to transform.
To be reborn.
I feel my power.
I’ve waited a long time.
Change is coming.
I welcome it.
Fears are fading.
I feel ready.
Watch me glow.
It’s time to die.
In this lifetime,
I am the beginning
And I am the end.
Through countless generations
And lifetimes of suffering
Echoing in the fibers of my soul.
A burden so heavy
And immeasurable pain,
Piercing through my heart.
I can feel it in my blood,
But it’s not mine to carry.
It never was.
The river of torment
Flows into a lake
And stillness takes over.
I am the beginning of the end
In this lifetime,
So my soul can move on.
Painlessly, through light,
Enter bliss and a new era,
Releasing the past.
Traveling through time and space,
Adoring the beauty around me,
Until I’m ready to come home.
When I was a kid, maybe around 6 or 7 years old, I remember standing under a plum tree near my apartment building at the time. My hands touched the tree and I was thinking…
Why do I see things the way I see?
Why am I me?
It’s one of my earliest memories that I am sure wasn’t a dream. And yet, in my memory, I can see myself not only as I remember it—in first person’s view—but also as if I were a bird, flying above and looking at myself from the sky.
I try to see myself as another person would, but I always feel like I am being pushed back to look at myself like a bird does.
I never thought of why my memory is like this. I guess it doesn’t matter.
. . .
Later in life, around the beginning of my teen years, I remember being asked what I would want to achieve in life.
Or was it… what would I want to do when I grew up? It’s usually the latter question that children get asked.
It wasn’t things like becoming a police officer like my father anymore. As a small child, I never put thought into what I truly wished to become or do when I grew up.
As a teen, I had no profession or title in mind. I just remember thinking…
I want to be free. Free to do whatever I want and be happy.
So simple and pure. A straightforward guide. The foundation. The core that can help build the life I truly want.
But somewhere along the way…
I fell asleep.
. . .
In my twenties, I discovered truths that had changed my life forever.
I moved continents away from home and discovered new amazing things, including spirituality, and started making my way to…
Yet, at 30 I found myself missing something. Even if my mind couldn’t grasp it at first.
You got what you wanted. You moved where you wanted to. You have a nicer place to live in and your career is progressing great.
Why are you not happy?
What is missing in your life?
For the first time in five years, I began to miss home.
Sounds simple, but it wasn’t.
Sure, I missed the beautiful plains, hills, woods and lakes, and the beautiful sandy beaches, but…
I soon began to realize that my soul was hungry.
Once more, I opened my eyes.
I was awake.
I could hear again what my heart was whispering. And learned why my soul was screaming. I just couldn’t hear any of it clearly.
And then I traveled back into my memories.
Why am I me?
And why am I here?
What is my purpose?
I lie awake now. Eyes wide open. Fixed on the target.
I shall continue my journey with a certain heart.
My spirit shall guide me.
Always improving and becoming better?
Yes, but that’s because…
I’m revealing my true self.
Raise the dead
To cleanse the Earth,
Leave the fair ones untouched.
In my dream
The angel looked like me
And I wondered…
Can I be fair?
Can I be divine?
Yet so cruel
And watch them die.
With a smile.
When I was writing this piece, I ended up at the gates of compassion, love and forgiveness. You might be wondering…
What part does Hitler play in all of this? Didn’t he do horrible things and bring so much pain and devastation to people and the world?
I have contemplated on my writing and how I have expected to see a very different person behind my old pieces. However, I have realized that the only difference between the person from back then who wrote those pieces and the person I am now are my beliefs. Like layers, I have peeled them off in the past years revealing more of my core. And then I have come to a question:
Do we really change or do we simply peel off the layers of social conditioning and all the other things that hid us away, and start blooming like a flower?
Ultimately at our core, we are not bad. We just get covered up with junk that stops us from being our authentic selves. We might do unkind things sometimes, but we are not evil. And when I remember forgiveness, I start to wonder…
Do unforgivable acts really exist? Is there anything unforgivable at all?
Even the most atrocious, cruel and evil act can be forgiven by a truly loving soul. A soul in a state of unconditional love. That true and pure love for yourself, everything and everyone around you. The love of all that is.
After all this contemplation and several realizations, I’ve arrived at the doorstep of Adolf Hitler.
Despite all that he’s done (and imagine that you are a survivor of that time, that you’ve been in one of the camps and have endured unimaginable things, and that he is still alive) could you go to him, hug him, and say that you love him and forgive him and that it’s okay?
And if he’d come for you again, you’d fight with all you’ve got, just not for revenge and not from your own pain or anger, but to simply protect yourself. If need be, this time let his eyes close for good, but with love and compassion.
From here you can maybe already imagine the power a true unconditional love harbors. (If this example doesn’t work for you, imagine the person who has hurt you the most in your life.)
I don’t mean that what he’s done is okay. I don’t even mean that you should actually go and forgive someone in person or even let them know that you did at all. Just look at all those people who do bad things, who hurt others, who hurt you.
Look at them. Watch them. Observe them. Can’t you see?
All those layers. All that pain. All those disempowering beliefs.
Once you truly start seeing what’s behind all of those actions and masks that people wear, you will notice that you are no longer afraid of them or affected by them. That doesn’t make people less dangerous if they actually intend to do harm, but you will gain clarity and be able to prevent anyone from harming you on many levels.
By stepping into a state of being where all you see is love, you can be compassionate, you can forgive anything, you can see the beautiful cores hidden under the layers of pain, feeling not enough and many other disempowering beliefs.
Freedom is in love and so is power. True power.
I am watching you crash against the walls of my castle.
Most likely both of us will suffer some damage.
But in the end, you will be the one to crumble into pieces.
That is because you come at me with pointless hatred.
It is a weapon too weak to defeat a sincere heart.
Too fragile to stand against a powerful soul.
It is only strong in your clouded eyes.
A lonely illusion uniting the hurt and the scared.
You’re too afraid to show the world who you really are.
Hiding, never daring to savor life as it is.
Deaf and blind to the beauty around you.
So determined to destroy those different than you.
You might even win some battles.
But the victory in this war is mine.
I shall rebuild with light and love.
I was watching a movie called Tomorrowland once. When it finally came to an end I’ve come to a realization. It hit me suddenly.
When people lose hope and when they give up, and when they forget their dreams and stop believing in themselves, then there is nothing else in the future, but an inevitable end of the world.
That’s what we see every day on the news and it’s a fact that there are raging wars and other unfortunate things tormenting our world.
The planet is dying!
That’s what we hear every day and what do many of us want to do? Not much. Just sit there and wait. Maybe there will be some excitement out of it? Like a zombie apocalypse. The world will end one day and we will all die anyway. Might as well sit back and watch the world burn.
What if I told you that Tomorrowland is possible? Peace is possible. A bright future is possible.
Sure, we won’t get along with everybody and we can’t please everybody. For now.
If all of us were taught different things than we are being taught now, we could grow tremendously as human beings and we could have peace. We could have a better world.
Someone who has found peace within their soul does not need to wage wars against others.
Call me idealistic. Delusional. Whatever else you want to call me. But I am a dreamer. Dreamers already live in Tomorrowland.
People who don’t give up and never lose hope are the ones who open the gates to a better future. They are the ones who are constantly changing the world. Just look around you.
And take a look at the mirror. Remember. You too are a dreamer.
Sometimes the embrace of the darkness within you may feel so soothing when things go wrong and your dreams start cracking or shatter altogether. The call of the shadows may sound so tempting inviting you to step over the edge and fall into the pit. The idea of just descending into the darkness may seem so easy and you may just want to let go. Hold on no longer.
The light lets go of you for a while, but not completely. It doesn’t go far away. It’s standing right beside you touching you briefly from time to time as the darkness puts its arms around you and embraces you. Both are there to help you ease the pain, to help you go through whatever you are going through. To help you stand up once more and keep going. Once you look up again, you see the light and it helps you up.
There is danger in letting the darkness hold you too long and too tight, because you may fall into the pit where the light has difficulty reaching you. As you stand the light embraces you and you step forward with hope and belief that everything is going to be okay. The darkness lets go, but it doesn’t disappear and is always ready to embrace you when you need it again.
The light and the darkness. Both are always there for you. Both are always within you. Both need to have their place in your heart and soul. Both can work together. When you walk forward holding the hands of both and dance together through the winds of life, you will find balance and harmony.
You’ve looked down on the gentle heart.
But can you stand against the flames once it’s on fire?
The burning embers light up the sky.
Ablaze is your soul.
You thought that being strong meant pushing your emotions away.
But can you take it when they come back flooding in?
Waves come crashing down.
In the depths is your heart.
You’d rather die than admit you were ever wrong.
But where will you hide when your mistakes will come knocking?
The walls close in and slowly crumble.
In the rubble is your truth.
You felt as if you were the ruler, owner of all the lands under your feet.
But what will happen when you see the shackles on your wrists?
The cage shuts.
Inside, on the knees, are you.